Fighting for a Friend

....Yo, I lost my best friend when I was 19
Shaking so hard, she just flew from the scene
This is no dream, this is what happened, she used to be so strong
But I guess she couldn't maintain a bond
Feeling miserable
Everyday she was skipping school
I tried to tell her "Wake up, girl, this isn't you"
But I wasn't getting though
She told me she had better shit to do
She said "Why should I listen to you?
Telling me to look at life with a different view?
When you do the same thing I do?"
I wish I knew,
But I was just only trying to help
'Cause she hurt people she loved, the way she lied to herself
But she kept it all inside of herself
Still, I was surprise when she found
'Cause she used to be the one that I could lean on
But I'm keep on
Searching, now that she's gone
Because I miss you


- Why are you scared to save your friends?
I'll let the pen slide to describe just how I'm feeling
- Why are you scared to save your friends?
It was her sign that I cried, but now I building
- Why are you scared to save your friends?
I'll let the pen slide to describe just how I'm feeling
- Why are you scared to save your friends?
It was her sign that I cried, but now I building

I try to hope for the best, you know, just to cope with the stress
And the pain I froze in my chest,
But as the time went by, I lost my faith
A mistake I often make,
And after few months I felt like shit
If this is what she wants I'ma stop searching
This is not working,
But this is certain
Which your best friend be a missing person
Then I turned into a different person
With a hole in my soul,
And I don't mean none in my shoes
Living by my own rules
I've been stuck for too long
I have to get up and move on and face that she's gone

- Why are you scared to save your friends?
I'll let the pen slide to describe just how I'm feeling
- Why are you scared to save your friends?
It was her sign that I cried, but now I building
- Why are you scared to save your friends?
I'll let the pen slide to describe just how I'm feeling
- Why are you scared to save your friends?
It was her sign that I cried, but now I building

...Then a couple weeks passed by
And I ain't even asked "Why"
Why's been days since I last cried?
There's two sides to a story
And one's the back side, and she chose that side
Not 'cause she liked pride, she had too much pride, I guess
I blocked her out, just to hide the stress
Closed the door, locked her out, need time to rest
It felt like I had nightmares for light years
As soon as I closed my eyes, she was right there
Then one day I got a call from this girl and she said
"Your best friend is right here"
"Is right where"
"Is right here"
She's dying to meet you, been trying to reach you
Got on a bus, train, boat and plane
Walked thought hell, snow and rain
'Cause the pain got me brain damaged like nothing
And when I came to the town here's what I found...
And when I came to the town here's what I found.....
I found my soul and I found myself
I found my soul and I found myself
I found my soul and I found myself
I found my soul and I found myself
I FOUND MY SOUL AND I FOUND MYSELF

- Why are you scared to save your friends?
I'll let the pen slide to describe just how I'm feeling
- Why are you scared to save your friends?
It was her sign that I cried, but now I building
- Why are you scared to save your friends?
I'll let the pen slide to describe just how I'm feeling
- Why are you scared to save your friends?
It was her sign that I cried, but now I building

Life Altering Event

It only takes a couple seconds to get caught in the wrong spot
And then it's too late to change shit, when it pops up
Pass the destruction, if you fast, if you no, don't
Like God can't touch you with the tip of His sword, Oh...
They eat you when they hit, tumble and then flip
Punch you in your lungs, then clip, maybe trip
Life's a bitch, that's the way that it is
Gotta deal with the shit
Waist deep
But we waste what we live
Gotta make it out the gutter
Making a name in this bitch
'Cause any day can be your last, we don't know what it is
Making most of this lifetime, blowing like a pipe line
Strike it with intensity, illuminate the night sky
'Cause this is fight time, step up in the streets
They wanna start trouble? We reacting to the beef
These people get slaughtered like the cows and the sheep
Get captured during combat? We will fight for liberty
And handling the heat,
My dreams live through these lyric
With the skills  that we built in out musical technique
You in a dead sleep, your whole presence is weak
Look at the world we living and it's so damn bleak

This is Born U-N-I-Q-U-E, a life altering event
One day you on top and the next you can lose it all
Sometimes we're just doomed to fall
No way to tell who's gonna get it

This is Born U-N-I-Q-U-E, a life altering event
One day you on top and the next you can lose it all
Sometimes we're just doomed to fall
No way to tell who's gonna get it

It can happen in a fraction of a moment, can't control it
It can shake you and awake you, ain't no way for you to hold it
It endorse, but you don't know it, being forced to just absorb it
Being down upon your spirit, leave your soul in the orbit
Bringing torture to your body, like you practicing  with rebecks
Losing focus and your mind, feeling all alone and hopeless
You can't cope with all the pain,  it transforms in hypnosis
And the drama in your brain got you enter in a forest
Living life without a purpose, suicidal, feeling worthless
Stay alive, lose your vitals and watch the cycle keep on hosing
Ain't no way you can reverse it
No reasons, at the verge of it
Permanently got you nervous, living life under a burden
Losing  everything you gained, living outside in a tent
Rob the riches with the quickness, it's too late to make a ment
And you know they hate you, your friends
It's too late, you can't repent
This is just another day of the life altering event

This is Born U-N-I-Q-U-E, a life altering event
One day you on top and the next you can lose it all
Sometimes we're just doomed to fall
No way to tell who's gonna get it

This is Born U-N-I-Q-U-E, a life altering event
One day you on top and the next you can lose it all
Sometimes we're just doomed to fall
No way to tell who's gonna get it

When I'm Gone

Live, learn and move ahead, we all get burned
There's so much you can give and not receive in return.

The feeling of not meaning anything to anyone or to the person you'd like to mean something is just too big for me, mayne. I can't get this feeling off my chest, lately. Pain and betrayal are eating me. I've been experiencing pain for several months, and now betrayal...betrayed by friends which I don't give a fuck about, but most importantly betrayed by the Emotion.

I think something we all need to do,
Is someone worth dying for
Nothing will pay if you get stuck in this game
Searching for fortune and fame

Don't all those things we did together mean anything to you?
There's a new "why" everyday...why did it turn out like this?
What about our bond? It should have been infinite, at least I thought so.
Having that bond is what makes it painful, but how could you know how it feels to lose that bond?
In the end you didn't understand me at all, you just thought you did.
Why? Why would I go so far for you? Because this is the first bond I've ever had, that's why I'm not gonna stop trying. I'm not like all the people you meet everyday, I care about small things in life, those are the most important, in my opinion.
You don't know the pain solitude brings. That's the pain that makes people strong and be self-motivated.
Everyone can see that there's too much hate in this world. I'm trying to do something about it, but I dunno what must be done. But if there are people like me out there, I think we will find a solution, together. I believe that one day people can truly understand one another.
To me you're irreplaceable, you're like family.
When you will experience what I feel now, you will understand what I'm talking about; about the pain of losing a bond.

I'm emotionally dead, now. A change of heart is necessary, at least towards those who deal me so much pain. It seems that's true. When you find someone that you love all others around you become meaningless. I think I'd levitate to the same sin, but at least I think about it, I try to split myself in equal parts to anyone. Do you?
In a relationship both He and She suffer losses, breaking up.
To understand me: feel the pain, contemplate pain, accept pain.

Think about a person you did everything for, you'd even give your life. What happens when everything you do for them is seen as bad or is not appreciated?
You lose control of yourself. I have no one that helps me get outta it, so I have to do it alone, I can't get this illusion destroy me.
Obviously if I did everything and wasn't enough, it means that you're equally worthless.

Love or not love, in my opinion, what matters is what the person in question means to you, what you're ready to do for them. Honestly? They can love you like none has ever did, but I doubt you'll mean more to them than you mean to me.

I was a spark of light and no force was great enough to create and shape me
But for her, I lured my own parents into existence so they could make me

...And believe me, that's not enough. It seems like you see through me as if I'm made of glass. When you ask somebody "What do I mean to you", you'll hear something like "My life", "Everything"(Which could as well be shit). The lack of knowledge you feed with is comprehensible, but the nonacceptance of the "everything" shown to you is inadmissible. In my perspective the price for depreciation is that you get fingers pointed at you, so others don't do the same mistakes. There's a price for everything you do, and I'm ready to accept that price.
Everything I do, I do it out of love. You must be a lethargic fuck to see the bad in my words or to think I wanna use you.

You got the motherfucking nerve to put your finger made at me?
'Cause I select to put the world at respect for clarity

Have you come to understand little about what pain is?
Unless you know the same pain, you cannot truly know another, and even if you get to know others, there can be no understanding.
That is the truth.
Just like it's useless to chase after you.
People change, you're not like I knew you anymore, or like you fooled me you are.
You chose this yourself.

They say I must forget about you. If I'm a real man I have to become wiser. Fools cannot survive in this world, that's the reality.

If being smart means what they say, then I'll remain a fool for the rest of my life.
Huh, I'm a big fool, after all.

I have burdened all the pain of people around you, inclusive yours, and I'll be ready to strike the world with that curse.
It seems it's my friend this thing called Hatred.
But I don't want this to be my way of living.

If you are ready to be her friend, then do what's right as her friend

I don't know what's the right thing to do, however, I can let faith decide whether she's right for me or not

"Love", in the past was merely a word to me. But after meeting you, you made me realize that what's important is the meaning of that word.
What does it mean to you?

I'm the loveless man you didn't feed, you passed by me in my time of need. What you didn't know is that I was a celestial, angel, on an earthly quest to morally test ya. You left in the thought, I never revisited or stressed you, but that one gesture, without question would've blessed you. So now you'll feel the pain of those you gave no attention, but still loved you. For 7 years straight like they did with no rescue. The horror and the fear, without escape, will infest you, the cycle will repeat eternally, unless you...

I know that I'm pathetic, but guess what? If showing your feelings is pathetic then being careless means being a bitch.

They all come and go,
I've seen it all before
The difference between me and them is: they tell you what you wanna hear
I tell you what I feel

Here I stand before the world, my realest thoughts exposed
I'm like a time bomb, I'm about to explode
I hold on tight, tryna stay on my pose
No matter how you think you understand, you don't come close

The real value of people will be realized only in their absence. With that being said, I'm gone.

Love/God's Voice

Self designed, first mind.
The divine essence transfered throughout multiple vessels over time.
The time creator, maker of sunshine.
Righteously inclined, giver of love to anyone,
perfect wisdom that doesn't know whats interior confine.
Standard paramount, if there's a doubt He'll cast all error out
He can account for every human thought, molecule and its whereabout
Without Him no material or life form would exist or ounce
The author of the galaxies, The One that atheist denounce
God can speak to you in an unknown voice,
But His best line of contact is through your own voice.
The One inside you that guides you and helps you ride through the rough time
That deviates pride like wise do.
When you hear It will you recognize it?
It's obvious that is deposited within you, but self hatred disguise It
He speaks to us and through us and feeds us his spirit
But before you give Him Love you first have to feel it

Now the God is talking, but who is listening?
He sends this message to the loveless and and those who're hating Him
The lonely men and the homeless
The media mobiles down to your global gossip columnist
He shows you what the bottom is
Stop doing the following: worshiping corporations that pretend to hallow out nations
And shallow men, exploiting the women and children
Fooling the citizens by blowing up them buildings
Using the profits names, they disguise and dirty religion
Keeping the racism in constant state of division
So God's intervention is instrumental
The system is corrupt from your job, up to the presidential
And higher levels,
When you get higher knowledge you see the higher devils
Rapid fire from rebels and greater odds
Will you learn to speak the language of God?
Figure out who is really talking, His name isn't hard
You can pick up the frauds
And avoid not hearing the truth
You can trace the proof back to Its roots
And what He constitutes, meaning what He's consisted of
The main characteristic I'm speaking of is Love

Have you ever felt the voice of Love into your head?
Then looked to the sky and did the opposite of what it said?
Well, most people do this everyday
To know the word and not obey, wonder why their life is in disarray
Chance after chance, but I come out with the same old song
Not taking the grace for granted, but still I ain't choosing right over wrong
I hear God's voice and it's powerful, full of conviction
Never a contradiction, just rules to defeat the opposition
Have you ever heard that God works in mysterious ways?
That He'll never let you down and deserves unlimited prays?
Listen closely and pay attention, It ain't hard to find
So say He might not come with ya, but He's right on time
He ain't gon' force you to follow Him, when you hear His voice
He leaves it all up to you so you make the choice
And now believe that with every ounce of body and soul
Be obedient to your heart to reach the ultimate goal

Meh...

Even as a child I felt the presence of God walking with me
Talking to me, but the darkness in me would argue with He
I brought my own conscience 'til my feelings would not responding
So is full speed ahead, though nauseous
I did what I wanted, walking to find a line between sanity and insanity
But well deceptive Devils: anger, greed, lust and vanity
Were ready to set me off the path and drink from their liquor
My heart became crisper,
God's voice became a whisper
I was OG, you knew me
Friends be "who's he?"
'Cause I got my paper, turned from OZ to Uzi
Realness started to lose me
Changed by own pain, with the God I was disputing
'Til His voice became mute
I lost my grandfather and my heart in the same year,
And I still can't hear,
After death came near
I'm slipping into a dark void,
But Her touch...I hear God's voice

The Path

"The path to accepting my own
It's true that I've been hit with a few stones, but how many have I thrown?"

There's a moment in life where you choose your path: righteous or unrighteous. The choice you make is heavenly influenced by people around you, how they react towards you, how they answer you back upon what you do.
We all know that in this world being righteous doesn't lead to anything, most of the times, but you sure expect something in return doing so, the least of affection.
Evil thoughts travel everyone's frequency, moral delinquency eats and sleeps with me, meaning my heart is good, though I'm not the leading model of decency, because if I were I wouldn't have done some things.
I was arriving to a point to be happy  at someone's suffering and be mad at someone's happiness.  This is unacceptable to me, it means I'm not deserving, meaning that I'm back to my solitary confinement, meaning that I'll fucking choose the unrighteous path because it's useless to give your body and soul to these people and them not even care or notice. It seems that the more I try, the more I lose, I've always hated paradoxes.
After these achievements, I find incredibly hard to believe in me, meaning you are not calculated as even existing.
Even for a person like me is hard to look ahead when being inflicted by such careless.
Countless times I helped a person in need, but the same for me was never received. Perhaps I'm looking for answers in the wrong place, but this place is so right, I can't ignore my emotions.
Just because I'm kicking knowledge and I wish the best to you doesn't mean I'm a saint, I'm still prone to do evil, much evil, because I never received anything in return, and I'm not talking about material stuff, which I don't need.
I never, either, received a sign that what I'm doing is right. I need a sign, a person telling me that what I'm doing is good.
Countless times I thought that what I'm doing is worthless, because that's what people show me, they don't appreciate true art. It's so shameful when you try and give the best you have and you try smile in their faces, but being devoured by pain inside. Do you think that's easy? I won't be able to do that forever.
It destroys you when you do anything and then someone just stands still and steals your everything.
I'm afraid that my fate is as all other's true artists: we don't get shit, not even the minimal affection we need to continue on doing what we do best.
I'll try, 'til the end of time.

"In a world where fighting for what you love is worthless, you're left to your own beliefs of what's right and wrong" 

I think I hear God's voice.  

The Perfect Union

Your strength is your beauty, your beauty is my weakness.
I inhale your calm to excel the journey of my dreams.
The flight upon which I sourced your soul, so carry me beneath your wings...
Stretch me wide across the open for yores, plant memories inside of me.
Crop our thoughts in you missing, harvest our future, through many obstacles we stand.
An infinite bond we maintain that got us connected.

We were raised as friends, bonded since the age of 10
The truest form of admiration we were stationed, and
When feelings died and faiths pretend they would break the train
Become one being with unmistakable sacred blend
This was so authentic, years later no break had been
Showed you appreciation with the guidance I drept you in
Communicating funny statements just to make you grin
It never gets old, each day a new first day begins
We took some losses, had to cut loose few hating friends
Confused, but losing is part of what it takes to win
Love making? Neither one of us had part taking in
Stood at a mental foundation, the best was and it stands between
The color mind degenerates and then migrates to sin
Believed in love that inner faith was never tape you in
My homies telling me 'Be straight, don't hesitate her in',
But this one's worth the way and God bless patient men

A perfect union lasts from the beginning,
Time will strengthen love that's never ending
Growing, building, feeling, no pretending
We were made for us
Pray and still, discover then be learning
We'll be hearing earths no longer turning
Wiving, laughing, flames forever burning
We were made for us

Nothing sparks greater emotion than that first romance
Picture two people separated by circumstance
To get her back to my world I'd search the lands
To relocate and reperuser her, was worth the chance
You moved away and every single day I thirst my glands
Miles of distance had interrupted my perfect plans
Instead of getting down to the root of why I torched the branch
The in result left me feeling just like a worthless man
It hurts to think I'd never take it down to the Church and stand
Before The Creator saved ours person, the person, and
Finally consummating dance that universe will dance
Conceive children who conceive and give birth to grands
I let love go, and love resprouted like surface plants
Thought I was dreaming when I saw you, mind immerse in trance
My sweat glands overreacted, when you inserted your hands
The cultivation of thoughts made gods and earths advance.

A perfect union lasts from the beginning,
Time will strengthen love that's never ending
Growing, building, feeling, no pretending
We were made for us
Pray and still, discover then be learning
We'll be hearing earths no longer turning
Wiving, laughing, flames forever burning
We were made for us

I was on a fast pace collision course with nothing solid in reach, but with you I found peace.
In you I know what a best friend is , I know what a soul mate is , in you...I found peace.
You have an abundance of knowledge with a heart of a champion, and a brain to match you, know me in and out
That gets me back on track , I...call you my better half.
I do the math, yeah, everything and more of what a man can ask for. You're my queen.
We've been friends for over 14 years, but that's really knowing each other: dirty drawls, each other's flaws
And who steals all the damn covers, but I love her. Always willing to help out others, though we are young
And no where near restless . Our love is bigger than just Huston, Texas .
It's your conversation, your personality that makes you such a blessing . I love you.
You know anything about me from my account numbers to PIN codes . Sex ain't love and money don't mean success.
You can be paid but what's the point if there's no one to share it with?
It takes: God, patience, trust, hard work, sacrifice, respect are all the key.
Knew me to deep and down. I love what I have.
When your love is pure then your conscience is free, when your...love is pure then your conscience is free...
When your...love is pure then your...conscience is free, and I love you, My Queen.

Amnesia...

I don't know where I'm at, or who I am
I'm being asked if I recognize certain places and faces, scriptures and diagrams
Evaluations, to see where my mind is
They said I'd understand in due time, but I don't know what time is
They bring a woman in, to visit me
And she descriptively begins to give to me, vivid periods of my history
I'm trying to figure out, who this could be
A mystery at all persistently, right now I don't even exist to me
She kisses me, like she been missing me
Then instantly the doctor gives her paper, with twenty words on a list to me
For hours, he tried to empower me
 And out of the twenty, nineteen I couldn't place, but one was jumping out at me
I don't feel crazy, I'm very sane
I'm trying to gain recollection, the doctor matches pictures up to every name
I try to concentrate to remember, but nothing comes
I overheard the doctor, tell the same lady I'm suffering from amnesia

My world, ain't the same
Don't know who I am, I don't know my name
Can't remember my life, I can't remember my ways
Can't remember my nights, can't remember my days

My world, ain't the same
Don't know who I am, I don't know my name
Can't remember my life, I can't remember my ways
Can't remember my nights, can't remember my days

Now, they bring me to a different bed
And hook me up to a machine, that gave it thoughts when they strapped it to your head
Was I a righteous man, or a evil dude
They judge my feelings to certain words, based on how fast the needle moves
My reactions would diversify
The words they said sparked emotion, some made me laugh and others made me cry
The needle, jumped out at a crazy pace
And when he said the word from the list that he gave me, I saw the lady's face
They brought a young child in
Who began to shed tears, until he looked into my eyes and started smiling
Like he was happy, that he found me
Something was familiar about the feeling, when he wrapped his arms around me
Listen, something is coming back, I'm reminiscing
A distant memory of me and this child, but it was somebody missing
Where was this other person at
Part of this puzzle could be deciphered, or something could bring that person back
It's no mirrors, in this room I'm at
To prove this fact they handed me a picture of myself, and I asked em who is that
I start to drag, like I'm going mad
It was something making me feel hatred, for this picture even though I had amnesia

My world, ain't the same
Don't know who I am, I don't know my name
Can't remember my life, I can't remember my ways
Can't remember my nights, can't remember my days

My world, ain't the same
Don't know who I am, I don't know my name
Can't remember my life, I can't remember my ways
Can't remember my nights, can't remember my days  

I tore the picture up, and then I screamed
The frustration of not knowing nothing, to nobody was just too extreme
Hopes that my memory, could be redeemed
I'm still struggling with the one word that seemed, to out shine the other nineteen
They strapped me down, like a wild man
The lady walked back in the room, with another female who held the child's hand
When I felt that presence, it calmed me
But as they swarmed me, the calm became a storm cause what they sung alarmed me
I heard the hate they spoke, with optics blurred
Telling me the reason I forgot them, and myself is 'cause I forgot the word
Right then I felt it, like a gust of wind
A voice said wake up, I heard clapping and I was on a stage with two other men
Opened my eyes, and realized G
A hypnotist had hypnotized another man, and at the same time hypnotized me
He said raise your arm, and hold it up
The other hypnotized man was the doctor, and in my hand the list was folded up
I opened it, wondering what can it be
It was the nineteen words from the fantasy, the list consists of friends and family
Yeah my mother wife and son, is who those people was
And the one word from the list, that seemed to stand out was the word LOVE
Yeah, suppressed in my subconscious mind
Amnesia in this case is when love is in you, but you forget to show it all the time
Now back to normal, he's converting me
Said I wouldn't recall a thing, went back to my seat
And told my homie "I told you it wouldn't work on me".  AMNESIA

Long Lost...

Every person has a void that needs to be filled
A reason for He or She to live and you'll know it when is revealed
I took a walk and sat down in a park, on a cool day
Relaxing, trying to clear my mind, and meditate all my stress away
I...noticed this individual walking in my direction
I felt a strange connection, he seemed to be a much younger reflection
Of someone that I know well, but I thought "Well,
Maybe I'm just tripping", but as he came closer and approached my heart fell
He said - "Excuse me sir, I'm not trying to throw you for a loot
And although you might not have a clue of who I am, I think I know you
Which you happen to know a lady named Evelyn
Whose family moved from Bucharest to the US, in the summer of 2012, when
You was a teenager" - "Yeah, I know her, I'm admitting that,
But what's your point, young homie? Just tell me what'cha getting at"
- "Well sir, no disrespect and I hate to be a bother
But if research that I've is correct then I think that you're my father"

Long lost piece of my heart where you been all my life?
It's been so many years without you by my side
And if I saw you, I'd probably break down and cry
I'd do anything to make things right.

- "Look here, lil' man, I understand if your daddy stuck you out cold
And it was prolly hard with your mama in a single parent household
But I'm sorry, and I'ma be straight with ya, no bad intentions
Me and your mama did mess a around, but, see, a child was never mentioned"
- "Well, on the cool my mama's married, so this might sound crazy
But amazingly my step-dad raised me since I was a baby
And for years my mama made me believe that he had made me
So imagine how I felt to know that they had played and betrayed me"
- "Well, let me ask you...What makes you so sure it's me?"
- "Well, I'll tell you
I found one of my baby pictures in a letter she never mailed you,
So seeking you out was something that I needed to do
Here's the note, read it, it's true
She was engaged to him, but she cheated with you"
- "Uhhh"
And she couldn't reveal to him you wasn't his
'Cause if she did that, a 20 year marriage wouldn't be what it is"
- "Yeah, and I love my mama, she raised me well and made me strong minded
But once I knew a part of my life was missing, I had to find it"

Long lost piece of my heart where you been all my life?
It's been so many years without you by my side
And if I saw you, I'd probably break down and cry
I'd do anything to make things right.

- "I promise you, I never knew back then
'Cause when the summer came, she and her parents left and I never heard form her again
Did you let them know that you know the truth?
See, news like this could go to roof off a whole family, especially once you show the proof"
- "Oh yeah, the whole truth came out,
See, we've been back in town for 7 years, and she said this is where you used to hang out
I've been wanting to say these words for weeks
I've been up here 4 or 5 times, but see, today I finally built the nerve to speak"
- "Well, the chance that I might not be is what's concerning me the most
But I can't permanently devote until I see paternity results
And if it's true you're welcome to come through
And we can do what fathers and sons do"
- "Just know that I'm not trying to get nothing from you"
- "Well, that's cool, even though you saying that I know this had been hard to go through
So regardless if it's true, I still owe you"
- "I appreciate your understanding and I won't be forgetting this"
- "It's all good, I think we need to go and handle our business"


Long lost piece of my heart where you been all my life?
It's been so many years without you by my side
And if I saw you, I'd probably break down and cry
I'd do anything to make things right.

Defeated

I say:

"Soulless people can't be identified with the appellative of She/He, they become IT". 

For the first time in my life I've experienced defeat, and I haven't lost a battle nor a war, I have lost a dream.
Even though I lost I'm not sad or I don't feel remorse; strangely I'm smiling, for the simple fact that I perfectly know that I was right all along and that I did everything and more that It deserved to accomplish this pitiful dream of mine. The way people have treated me made me realize that we haven't been seeded equally, and that's so wrong...I guess it's a matter of "we choose who we are". Astrology and destiny has nothing to do with it. It's a shame how some lames can't manage to understand how the ways of this world can get you brain damaged and they get controlled by the hatred they carry within, they destroy their own beautiful mind.
That statement "you learn more from your defeats than your victories" it is true, thus I have learned some new things about the world I'm living in. I have learned that LOVE doesn't conquer all, love can exist just within people who carry a soul. What about the soulless? They will never know that feeling, because they forsake themselves. For them it is easier being someone else than being themselves, keeping their fears and their pain within them and made of their hearts a dark void which releases what has swallowed on people around them, and such action carry them to isolation. Learn how to over come your Solitary Confinement.
It has become quite obvious to me that people can be helped only if they wanna be helped, because I calculated everything perfectly (Talking about the posts) and I spent days, nights, weeks, months looking for the right words  just to try and change It. All worthless, It hasn't understood anything, though everything lays in It's subconscious. I say that's a shame You can never be able to succeed or even to love someone until you conquer the monster within your heart.
Deny the truth and it'll destroy you. You'll be doomed, fueled by your anger, hate, jealousy, your rage and lastly the denial of who you've become. They arrive to a point where they become what they feared to be.
This blog has been created for one purpose: "To make a person see the light", but now that my dream is probably shattered I don't see why this blog should exist. I won't close it, I will keep it because the words in my posts are designed to kill all your greatest fears.
I don't understand relationships...I'm the kinda person that says what he means and means what he says, when I say something I don't go back on my words 'cause I arrive to a point to hate someone. First of all I don't have the rights to hate on a human being, second...I think it comes by itself.
I don't know how It could explain all the things It told to me, I still remember everything because It was that important to me. It's unbelievable how this can happen...why do you tell someone a thing and then act like you didn't mean it? Why are you so shallow and fake? Why the fuck do you hate me when I just did everything good possible?
Some of them say "I am like this just with you". That doesn't matter, what matters is that that evil exists within you and it can come out anytime. Consider yourself special if someone tells you that because it means you've blown their heart and you really meant something very important to them.
I guess a statement hurts in proportion of the truth.
In a world where it's worthless fighting for what you love, people are left to their own beliefs of what's right and wrong.
It is amusing how these people try and 'save the world', but they help in destroying it.
Watch out who you fucking with. Not many people are as deep as me, indeed.
I'll just admit defeat with a smile, 'cause I won regardlessly.
I have no authority on your brain, but someone had to teach you. You contain the power to release you.

Until The End Of Time

Perhaps I'm addicted to the dark side
Somewhere inside my childhood I missed my heart die
And even though we come from the same place
It's love and pride that made us change places
Could it be? Through the misery to gain a pass...
In hard times, makes a true friend afraid to ask
See, you can run to me when you need me, I'll never leave
I just need needed someone to believe in
It's a small thang, though and true, what could I do?
Real friends help you get through
I know she'd do the same thing if she understood
'Cause in this world real friends make you feel good
After arguing we'd be acting like it's all good
Even though pain is growing in my heart
She'd be asking "will you change?",
I told her "yes" but it's clear I'll always be the same
Until the end of time

Take, these broken wings
I need your hands to come and heal me once again
Until the end time
'Til I can fly
Til the end of time

Please, Lord, forgive me for my life of sin
My true face seems to scare all these kids
So I won't hang around them that much
This whole pain got me going outta touch
Shit...I haven't smiled in a long while
An unexpected life, I'm having doubts if I'll ever shine
Your attitude gets you living solo
While my heart beats in slow mo
In hard times I disappear and listen to the ocean
Smolder my thoughts then it's back to normal
Who can I trust in this cold world
When the one I love keep me shutting out their fort?
Maybe is really me who's not deserving
Baby, remember all those times we were loving
I'm tired of thinking "maybe it was meant to be"
When I'm aware that besides rapping the only thing good I do is scrapping
Until the end of time

Take, these broken wings
I need your hands to come and heal me once again
Until the end time
'Til I can fly
Til the end of time

Take, these broken wings
I need your hands to come and heal me once again
Until the end time
'Til I can fly
Til the end of time

I ain't in the position to say if I'm right of wrong
To live all my life as an outlaw, all alone?
Remain strong is this world full of players 'n' haters
It seems Faith conversate with my future telling it I am a menace
I don't wanna be alone drinking Hennessy, I don't want people envy me
I don't want to be cold with no remorse and eliminate them easily
Down to their knees, they bleed, asking for the right to breathe
I don't wanna tell them "I'm sorry, I never knew peace"
The thought I conceived seems even farther to achieve
In time of danger, don't freeze, it's time to be a G
Follow my lead, I'll supply everything you need
And out my words you can find the train that will make you feel
Me and remember me as an outcast outlaw
Another piece of my mind got written down, I never meant war
My thoughts will be put in your mind's casket, buried as a G
Eternally people will remember me and it's a pity you didn't want to be a part of it
Until the end of time

Take, these broken wings
I need your hands to come and heal me once again
Until the end time
'Til I can fly
Til the end of time

Take, these broken wings
I need your hands to come and heal me once again
Until the end time
'Til I can fly
Til the end of time

...And if an angel comes down and takes me away
Memories of me in these words will always stay
Deep inside, 'til the end of time.
'Til the end of time.

My Last Letter

Within the lines you about to read lies one situation seen by two different angles. If you claim you know me then it'll be easy to know who I really am. It's up to you to put the pieces of the puzzle together as Good and Evil are mixed. Have fun playing with my two personalities, fool ! 

__________________________________________________________ 

"I don't even know who I am, memory fails me
Maybe you can open my last letter and tell me"
 __________________________________________________________ 

I'm alone in the dark writing my last letter,
I'm alone in the dark writing my last letter
High as a motherfucker, now I feel better
High as a motherfucker, now I feel better...

I am subliminal, lyrical killer, I'm cynical
Had in my mind this vision of being a criminal
A Soulja ladder, making my pride a vendetta
I murder weak minds as addiction to survive in the ghetto
Emerged from a ritual, 5000 years ago
Wicked scriptures carried on, engraved in my soul
Intoxicated by love 'cause it's getting me high,
But it's time to face the truth, as I'm closing my eyes
Nowadays people ain't making no sense
They throw you to the garbage 'cause they think there's no consequence
Ain't no surprise, you cannot defy you're playing with fire
And all your wicked actions make you live in a lie
Acknowledge when you see me, they call me "The Truth"
My soul is imprisoned within this youth
A rebel without a cause, I'll die for my beliefs
That you'll see this whole thing as He wanted you to sees
There's no other meaning but love in my actions, no glory
Hieroglyphics in this letter will tell the whole story

I'm alone in the dark writing my last letter,
I'm alone in the dark writing my last letter
High as a motherfucker, now I feel better
High as a motherfucker, now I feel better
Why am I helping you? You ain't no kin to me
Murder this fool is what The Beast be telling me
I'm alone contemplating, writing my last letter
'Cause what I had in the past makes me feel better

I see the world with two pairs of eyes in every situation
But same deep concentration and total isolation
Thinking She my enemy my heart starts racing
Easily penetrating through all the hatin' I'm facing
I wrote a long letter to myself, get preceded
To tear it up because I was too afraid to read it
My appetite calling my name, I gotta feed it
I'm giving myself therapy, no consoling needed
I'm about to go insane, the blood boiling in my veins
Get pounded from a twenty ton migraine
People beating on my room door, tryna check on me
Sinister occurrent nightmares resurrect on me
So what do you do when The World tryna test ya?
Will you fulfill or will you crack under the pressure?
I don't even know who I am, memory fails me
Maybe you can open my last letter and tell me

I'm alone in the dark writing my last letter,
I'm alone in the dark writing my last letter
High as a motherfucker, now I feel better
High as a motherfucker, now I feel better
Why am I helping you? You ain't no kin to me
Murder this fool is what The Beast be telling me
I'm alone contemplating, writing my last letter
'Cause what I had in the past makes me feel better

I'm alone in the dark, writing my last letter
'Cause the life that I lived felt like ain't get no better
Tryna maintain my cool, but is tougher than the matter
Just so you know I'm holding back, tears ain't scared no man
As in pain as I feel I hear this girl scream "Help"
And I'll hear it forever if I don't lend a hand
But this happiness, if I'll chase it
Will I be strong enough to face it?
I can't risk losing it again and be alone in the dark, listen to my heart
'Cause my brain tells me "Boy, leave her in the dark,
Feed with these demon hearts, they're just fish in the sea and you the great white shark"
So I try as hard to not give into these thoughts, 'cause it's ripping me apart
I'm strugglin' to maintain, but it's driving me insane
"Leave me alone, get the fuck out my brain"

I'm alone in the dark writing my last letter,
I'm alone in the dark writing my last letter
High as a motherfucker, now I feel better
High as a motherfucker, now I feel better
Why am I helping you? You ain't no kin to me
Murder this fool is what The Beast be telling me
I'm alone contemplating, writing my last letter
'Cause what I had in the past makes me feel better

I'm a man on a palet, drinking out a chalice
Forming a strategy of premeditating malice
Contemplating the worse and fighting with two decisions
Imprison my 3D hologram visions
My tongue be blow, torture and inflame their souls
I respond by spinning off the words my heart howls
I disfigure your face 'til you need cosmetics trims
Amputate your legs then chop off your prostrating limbs
I'm a killer without a mask, but I ain't on the TV
Look directly in their eyes 'cause I wanted 'em to see me
I was...Oh, hold up..I think I need a moment
'Cause I just saw the bodies of my next ten opponents
Doctors wanna copy me and snatch thenaldine
The surgical procedure was not performed properly
I'm obviously not normal, half crazy, I gotta be
World on my shoulders, I got the planet on top of me

 

Motives of my soul

I'm not the hardest dude, I'm not the weakest either
I know that God is real, I'm not a disbeliever
Hated and misperceived, some say I'm sick indeed
Am I the one that came to save you or that wicked seed?
Outside the sun is beaming, inside my heart is raining
Still complaining despite all the blessings I'm obtaining
Temptations facilitate my tribulations
I paint pictures in your mind with verbal illustrations
You know if cash was blood, I would've bled to death
I sacrificed, fed others, before I fed myself
The streets are living hell, peace I've been blessed to find
I'm tryna show you the way out like an exit sign
Thought I was next in line, my name was highly touted
Sometimes you don't know you was in the moment until ya out it
Hahaha, I'll give you two seconds to think about it
One, two, do you think you understood? I doubt it

Explain to me, why am I who you believe I am?
Why is your perception of success perceived as an island ?
We chase riches, when its "self" we outta try to master
The grass you're gazing at, might not be the greenest pasture
Happiness is something that is measured from the soul
Not how many earthly possessions that one can hold
When you die you leave with nothing, so you sounding funny
And if there is a heaven, they ain't up there counting money
 Nothing you accumulate goes with you when it's time
"Takings" impossible, the key is what you leave behind
Write your thoughts down, let future people read yo mind
Become eternal trees sprouted from the seeds of time
What if we take away the money, take away the car?
Strip you down to the raw essence of who you are?
My motives love ever drop of blood, every vain
Art form perpetuation, never monetary gain

See? see your treasure might be trash to me
You might interpret my form of worship as blasphemy
My happiness might bring you simultaneous agony
 I'm glad to see, anything that Allah has for me
A true artist practices non-conformity
He constantly releases natural creative, honesty, subconsciously
I'm not the one the industry wants to see
Controversial, not drama-free, bombed with vomit comments cause they can't stomach me
True art is scorned, creatively is torn
Contaminated and graphed it out from it's natural form
An artist might cry in the sun and laugh in the storm
Cause he operates beyond what infuse to be the norm
His heart is big, so before he punishes, he warns
He celebrates the dead and morns for the new borns
Knows he's talented but never blows his own horn
Makes a masterpiece and before receives credit, he's gone!

Sorrow comes with wisdom, pain comes with love
Could I be the true definition of... ..?
A natural born artist
To be yourself or somebody else, which is the hardest?
Light follows darkness, hate follows success
What criteria determines who's truly the best?

Demon Hearts

-Once a thought is born nothing can harm it, you don't understand the magnitude of torment that it took for me to for it. 
-To the unperceptive kind I appear to be blind, maybe because I think with my heart and I see with my mind.
-I gotta be strong for others when they having trials, so even when I'm feeling low, depressed or sad I smile. 
-A voice spoke to me and anger asking what'chu doing? You should be moving towards your goal, how come you not perusing?
-I'm real with those who real with me, and try to best person that I can be. 
-Am I flawed in my action? Obviously. I know my own philosophy is still with double standards in hypocrisy. 

If You followed me all along you might recognize some of those quotes. I could go on for hours listing them, but that's not the point; you'll understand as you read.
After so much time I drew a conclusion, and I have to tell You: I'M SORRY. I was blinded by that selfish emotion called: LOVE. I didn't see the other part of Your actions.
You can put that blame on me. You have found someone that listens to You, cares for You, would do anything for You, You despite them with your words, mistreat Him, humiliate Him because You know He wouldn't answer You back because He cares/loves You too much. You don't really have no one else like Him. You're struggling with your self-esteem to try and be better, but if You really wanna start, acknowledge that person that cares too much for you, because You have a Demon heart.
They say Demons don't have hearts. They actually have one, but the pain, hatred, depression disguise it into a black hole that lives inside of them and consumes them.
Demon hearts can't be opened...or can they? There's a price to pay for everything you've done. A Demon heart can be opened by seeing the light. And Demons can't see the light by themselves. They need someone to guide them to the light. They wouldn't even accept help, they're flawed in almost anything they do/say.
There's another way a Demon heart can be opened and that is losing the one that cares the most about the Demon itself.  Demons won't care about that, hell no ! ...But, in time, they will realize what they've lost and they will never be able to gain it back ever again. Only then they will realize what they've done in the past and will keep crying. Strong ones will use that as a motivation, weak ones will eventually pale in front of the pain and go back of being Demons, but there's no second chance, as You haven't given any, ever.
You're not born a Demon, you become a Demon. And it's ashame because you ruin time of your beautiful life being Demon hearted. As they say "I don't get influenced by people around me". I say "It seems like all the bad people did to You across Your life made you forgot how it is being human".
That old statement "You never really know what you've got until is gone" is a true one ,and everyone learns it in its life, absolutely everyone.
Read carefully everything I say, because I don't use metaphors, I use metafives and every line I write hides secret meanings for you to uncover and understand. Don't take everything I say/write at false value because I know perfectly what the fuck I say and why. I'm just a foolish vessel that has the most high speaking through me, giving me the credits only proves to me you never knew me.

"Hard for even myself to believe in me
Not many people are as deep as me
The way the world has previously treated me
Leads me to seeing the griefless truth that we having been seeded equally
Understand nothing that exist today stays the same
The only thing in this life that's constant is change"

On, leg, leg, on, head with it . Like Solomon with the Lionheart's grip, my words free your heart from the darkness in it. 
I'm a heart Demon hunter. 

...And to You? 
-I promise whatever You're going through will be done in time, keeping it ain't never good, say what's on your mind !  

 

 

 

Valley of Decision

I'm in a spiritual prison, but on this day I've arisen
 To the vision of an internal God and Satan collision
The fight to win me took place within me
And whoever I submit it to would ultimately choose where they would send me
I stood motionless, approaching this comatose-ness with openness
Could only hope and wish for sanity when I awoke from this
I'm coping with the possibility of making the wrong choice
 No reason to rejoice, I heard the girl I love speaks Satan's voice 

You love me don't you?
Think of everything I meant to you
Since day one remember all the happiness I sent to you
The days that I provided easy ways for new paths to you
The things you meant to do that She prevented you, I lent to you

She tempted you and you let worldly elements affect you
The things that I prevented you were done so to protect you
 I expect you to make mistakes, but call; I won't neglect you
 Follow me and I'll eject secular ways and resurrect you 

Conscience:  
Remember, every single trial that you gone through
 If you was in the Valley of Decision, what would you do?

Ain't it funny?

Check yourself out
We operating on our low desires

Ain't it funny, how things go?
The more you live, you deal with parts of life you didn't know
Chasing dreams and over nothing going on a limb
You bringing others in your troubles, jeopardizing them the question is
Ain't it funny, and kinda strange ?
Just when you think you got it figured out, the game change
I have learned: what'll make you laugh will make you cry
Living and knowing we ain't perfect, but we gotta try...we gotta try


Lil' sister was fast growing up, nothing could hold her
Thugs attracted her, her own mother couldn't control her
Big brother knew the game, and every time that he seen her he told her
"Concentrate on other things, focus on men when you're older"
She met a hustler, who was bad news and everyone sensed it
Some of her friends knew his history, and they warned her against it
She wasn't tripping, cause his lifestyle and his money had trapped her
But the first time that she went against the grain, he slapped her
And beat her down like a man, threw her clothes in the street
Told her brother and with tears in his eyes; he loaded his piece
And came searching for that coward, went straight to his hood
Ready to sacrifice his own freedom, for the love of his blood
When he caught him he pistol whooped him, shot holes in his Benz
Went to jail attempted murder, fifteen years in the Pen
But for his kin, if he had to do it again he'd still get him
He wasn't gone for a month, and his lil' sister was right back with him

Ain't it funny, how things go?
The more you live, you deal with parts of life you didn't know
Chasing dreams and over nothing going on a limb
You bringing others in your troubles, jeopardizing them the question is
Ain't it funny, and kinda strange ?
Just when you think you got it figured out, the game change
I have learned: what'll make you laugh will make you cry
Living and knowing we ain't perfect, but we gotta try...we gotta try

You met a young lady, who still possessed the mind of a girl
Full of love and trust, but sheltered and naive to the world
Saving herself, the kind that no man was yet supposed to touch
Inexperienced, and had never been exposed to much
Fed her some game and reeled her in fast, you was the first
Instead of bringing out the best in her, you reach for the worst
Heavily influenced by love, she did whatever he said
He talked her into letting another female into the bed
Trying to live out fantasies, with a wife who was down
But what you thought you wanted back-fired you and got switched around
Didn't know, the other female was a veteran too
Who was able to do a few things, better than you
Now your girl starts to doubt you, it's no longer about you
You get home from work and they already done started without you
You on the outside looking in, was fly and conceded
Your wife got turned out, and it's obvious you no longer needed

Ain't it funny, how things go?
The more you live, you deal with parts of life you didn't know
Chasing dreams and over nothing going on a limb
You bringing others in your troubles, jeopardizing them the question is
Ain't it funny, and kinda strange ?
Just when you think you got it figured out, the game change
I have learned: what'll make you laugh will make you cry
Living and knowing we ain't perfect, but we gotta try...we gotta try

Over time long relationships start to fail
Use to be easy to distinguish, now it's hard to tell
Who is real and who is counterfeit, the truth from lies
People you thought you really knew start showing other sides
Claiming it's love but come up missing when it's time to show
Grew up together, now you treating me like I'm the foe
Know all your secrets all the dirt you did, but kept it well
And even if we turned to enemies, still wouldn't tell
Blood sweat and tears are mandatory that's the price
How you gonna live life's benefits without a sacrifice?
Trust in that you gotta scuffle, to come up and stack
You about to crack, because you gave all and got nothing back
How come our children are so angry now and quick to bust?
They disappointed in this BS that they get from us
But you'll die, if unjustified is what you seek
Elijah said, "think five times before you speak"

Ain't it funny, how things go?
The more you live, you deal with parts of life you didn't know
Chasing dreams and over nothing going on a limb
You bringing others in your troubles, jeopardizing them the question is
Ain't it funny, and kinda strange ?
Just when you think you got it figured out, the game change
I have learned: what'll make you laugh will make you cry
Living and knowing we ain't perfect, but we gotta try...we gotta try